My 6040 isn't from Carvingcnc but it's pretty much identical. The spanners that came with mine while not a tight fit do more or less fit reasonably well, but I can't remember what size they were. But if the 13mm is too small how can the 14mm be too large? It can only have around 0.5mm slop or so?
I've always understood for safety it's better to have the E-Stop control the power, not use it to signal software and then have the software cut power.
So far as water cooling goes, just run it through the trays with the cabling (that's how all the Chinese machines are done), so long as the hose is half decent it will be perfectly fine. But whatever you do, don't use water, get car radiator coolant and don't dilute it, just use it as is. If it's designed to work in cars and radiators of differing metal composition, it's good enough for a spindle. Also, water goes off and get's algae blooms.
I have my 1.5kw spindle using just 5 litres of coolant pumped from a plastic container under the machine, that's sealed off from dust and contaminates, and is also shielded from the lighting so no UV or light effects. I checked it just the other day, and after 2 years it's still as new.
cheers, Ian
It's rumoured that everytime someone buys a TB6560 based board, an engineer cries!